The psychological factors in dating
His popular books about the model became best sellers, namely "The Games People Play." Drawing somewhat on Sigmund Freud, his theory argued that every person has three "ego states": • The parent: What you've been taught • The child: What you have felt • The adult: What you have learned When two people are really compatible, they connect along each tier. "This suggests that long periods of eye contact can connect you to someone and even ignite feelings of love inside you for that person you have never previously met." Starting — and growing — a relationship seems to largely depend on how people attend to one another.
Couples therapist Peter Pearson gave us a few questions for figuring out compatibility at each level: • The parent: Do you have similar values and beliefs about the world? Over 40 years of studying couples, psychologist John Gottman says it's a matter of "bids." For example, if a bird-loving wife points out to her husband that a goldfinch just flew landed in a nearby tree, he can turn away" from her by dismissing the remark or "turn toward" her by sharing her enthusiasm.
(In reality, the researchers had made up all this information about who liked who.) Sure enough, women liked the men most when it was unclear whether the men had liked their profiles.
We may all have a "type" — but women are more likely to adhere to it than men are.
Other women saw photos of men who had seen their Facebook profiles and rated them average.
A third group of women saw photos of men who had seen their Facebook profiles — but the researchers didn't reveal whether the men had liked them or not.
But these findings only applied in certain situations.
Sure enough, people were selected more often when they were pictured in expansive postures.
Decades of studies have shown that the cliché that "opposites attract" is totally off.
In 2011, researchers conducted experiments on more than 1,000 people, showing them photographs of members of the opposite sex and asking them how attractive the people in the photos were.
Results showed that men rated women most attractive when they looked happy and least attractive when they displayed pride.
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The researchers concluded that owning a pet signals that you're nurturing and capable of making long-term commitments.